Core Principles of Extraordinary Relationships Series 

 Don’t Compare Your Apples 

Marriages have similar core principles and standards; however, it’s not good to compare your apples with other peoples’ apples. We aren’t all in the same place nor do we have the same life experiences, relationships, or emotional triggers.  

Comparing a couple that has been married forty years – and are still madly in love – to you and your spouse – who’ve been married four years and question if you want to stay in your marriage, isn’t fair to you.  

I promise, if you had seen the couple of forty years in their first four years, it wouldn’t look like it does today. At some point they’ve questioned if their relationship would last. But now, after forty years … 

  • They’ve retired – work stress gone.  
  • They’ve raised their kids – empty nest limits stress. 
  • They’ve learned what triggers and pleases their significant other and learned to put their loved one before themselves. 

They’ve experienced many of the things listed in wedding vows and hung in there anyway. They’ve seen for better or worse, experienced for richer or poorer, and had sickness and health. With those experiences came understanding, love, compassion, and wisdom. 

Their decision to stick it out when times were tough is rewarded with a rich, loving, and fruitful marriage. God doesn’t promise our lives will be carefree after we marry our fairytale prince or princess. (Read John 16:33) 

Comparing your situation with anyone else is never healthy. We are designed to be our unique self, not someone else’s clone. You can do this; you can have an extraordinary relationship when you decide to hang in there for the long haul and be rewarded with a loving and engaged marriage. 

My Advice: 

Stop comparing your apples to someone else’s’ apples. You never know what is under their skin. 


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